60 years ago (today), the CIA devised a plot against the great American President (who cheated on his wife with Marilyn Monroe) to assassinate the poor man because he was too swagalicious.
Shot from sewer-drain shooter Dave Shar, member of the Battletoads Terror Cell, poor JFK got his skull blown open by a flying jumpkick battleaxe, exposing Kennedy's Good Chowder (His drugged-up fried grey matter), this tragic event does not come without conspiracy; What happened to the Magic Battleaxe? Did Kennedy get Venereal Disease from having sex with Marilyn Monroe? Why did a nightclub owner shoot Dave "Rash" Shar? Was that nightclub even cool? How unlucky do you have to be to get a job at a Book Suppositor-- I mean Depository?